During my adolescent and teenage years, this was perhaps the most overlooked commandment as I was bent on my quest for rebellion against my parents. At that time I failed to realize the importance and significance of what is undoubtedly the greatest earthly commandment given to mankind by God. In fact, it is the only commandment with a specific blessing for those that observe it, which is – “that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you.“ Deuteronomy 5:16. My unwillingness to become accustomed to this commandment was indicative of a greater sin in my life, which was a sin of rebellion against none other than God himself. At the time, I sincerely believed that I was a child of God and that I had favor with Him; that it was my parents who were dissolute and in need of enlightenment. In my arrogance I failed to understand humility and was lost on a path of darkness, reluctant to remove the blindfold that kept me captive and bound with chains to sin. I did not partake in the blessings resulting from observance of this commandment and I questioned why my life was so broken and lacking fulfillment; yet the answer eluded me in its simplicity. It was not until I started honoring my parents that my life turned around. And this time the conviction came from my heart. I understood, from God’s perspective, the fulfillment and joys that this commandment brought forth and have never turned back.
The first four commandments pertain to our relationship with God and the remaining six concern our relationship with mankind. To honor thy parents is the fifth commandment and resides at the pivotal location as it is the transitional commandment which bridges our relationship with God to our humanistic commitment. I am not advocating that one commandment is more important than another; however, perhaps there is significance in the ordering of the commandments. One viewpoint to consider may be by the order of consequence or impact, with the commandments that produce the greatest impact or the greatest consequence for disobedience appearing first. Another significance of listing order could be based upon how the commandments should be prioritized. I lean towards the latter; regardless, it stands to testament how profound this commandment is as there is no other commandment apart from our love of God that greatly describes the extent to which we should love our neighbor. Our obedience to our parents is symbolic of our submission to God and is the physical manifestation of our spiritual relationship that we experience with God. In fact, it is said that “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.” 1 John 4:20-21. If we have difficulty honoring parents who ultimately wants only what is best for us, how will it be possible for us to love our enemies as God has commanded? Why do we often dismiss our parents’ ideas as wrong, when they have more years of experience on which to draw for deciphering which course of action is best for us? Sometimes it seems that honoring our parents requires of us a great deal of sacrifice. It means sacrificing our innermost desires at times to honor and please our parents. Obedience requires a broken and selfless heart that prioritizes the needs of others above our own desires. Such selfless action closely models what our relationship should be with God. It is much easier to love and serve fellow mankind once we establish an honoring and obedient relationship with our parents. From my experience I can deduce that those who honor their parents genuinely and lovingly develop into more caring, giving and sacrificial individuals. It stands to reason that God blesses those who follow His commandments, giving them a long and good life. After all, the adherence to His commandments requires a person to develop a virtuous character; much as gold is refined when passing through fire.
Interesting read! I never thought thoroughly about honoring ones parents and the impact that it has on multiple facets of life. I do agree with the aforementioned statements. I must say that there needs to be a disclaimer: God commands us to honor our parents, for many reasons I presume, but we are not to blindly follow the directives of anyone. The premise of honoring ones parents and listening to their advice and demands is contingent upon their righteous knowledge. This is the framework from which we should operate; following principles handed down to us that are biblically sound.
Marlon, I agree. The commandments were given under the assumption that the individuals in question are good, although imperfect. However, the difficulty in objectively identifying what is considered a virtuous character while growing up is perhaps the reason why this commandment is overlooked to the extent that it is. This is a complex issue for a simple reply and perhaps I will write another blog entry concerning the proper assumptions and nature of this commandment to provide further insights.
Great block Brother, and just wondering in what practical ways have you honor your parents and how doing that makes you felt. This is a great way to start a new year: promising to honor our parents.. Blessings..
Not a bad way to start a new blog, addressing such an incredibly important topic. You made some great points. It raises some difficult questions, though, when it comes to just who our parents are. Perhaps it’s my training, but two points to consider.
1) It’s important to keep a proper ordering when consider how our filial piety plays out. One of the most troubling passages for me in considering how to follow this commandment is from Matthew 10, where Jesus explicitly states that anyone who loves their father or mother more than [Jesus] is not worth of him. The same goes for a parent’s relations to children. Related, when told that his mother wants to speak to him in Mt. 12, Jesus asks, “Who is my mother?” How is that honoring, by our conventional definitions? Needless to say, this can get ugly when the interests of a parent and God’s will discerned by other methods stand in opposition, as well as myriad of other situations
2) Another thing that creates some tension is where there is abuse — physical, emotional, psychological — carried out by the parents. This can relate to some interesting interpretations of God’s promises (and pronouncements) from Leviticus about the implications of the “sins of the father.” Is it possible that in these situations that one’s biological parents are no longer truly “father and mother” in the sense stated in Exodus? Have they ceded that role? Related, is it possible for that role to be taken over by someone else in your life besides your biological parents? That gets into some of the practical implications of mentorship, however, beyond the scope of this post.
Keep it up brother!
Pastor, I don’t think I can provide a justifiable answer as a simple comment. I am considering writing a second part on this topic to address concerns and questions brought forth by others and as such will provide practical examples; some from my life, some from the lives of others.
Mike, you bring up interesting points. Regarding point 1, I believe it is taken out of context since Jesus is referring to our spiritual family while the fifth commandment refers to our physical parents. At the crucifixion, one of the most monumental expression of love ever recorded in the Bible was evidenced in John 19:26-27, “When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, ‘Woman, here is your son,’ and to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother.'” During his misery, He selflessly looked after the best interest of His mother. This is the principle we should adhere to, not just with our parents, but with everyone as God has commanded us to love thy neighbor. This is the point that I was trying to make in my blog entry. Either way, you brought up excellent points and this topic is worthy of another blog post; which I will commit to as I am inspired.
Good stuff. I’m wondering what provoked this topic and blog. I also enjoyed the comments/questions as I have similar questions about abusive parents, etc. I have been feeling guilty for being fairly rude to my dad recently. He was being super rude, so I rudely corrected him. No pat on the back for me. I wonder how one should go about correcting/advising our parents if need be. How does one proceed if their parents are not of the faith and their advice is faith-related? This makes me think of several friends of ours. But one friend in particular is really struggling with this one.
Will you also be writing on health?
Autumn, I don’t think we should retaliate aggressively or rudely even if it was instigated in such a manner. We should respond firmly, but lovingly. Responses triggered by anger or hatred should be averted and discussed once the emotions have settled down. While it might be difficult to approach issues with the stated mentality, in the end it is rewarding and you have earned their respect.
As for writing on health, I am very much interested in writing blog posts on that topic. I believe it is an important topic and is related to Biblical principles.